Understanding Triggers: Why We React When Overwhelmed, with Sari Barron

Welcome to the Real Life Momz podcast. It is time to take a break from all our to-dos and carve out this time to focus on ourselves. I'm Lisa Foster, your host, and today I am here with fellow mom, marriage and family therapist Sari Barron. And we are learning to recognize when our nervous system is overwhelmed and tools to calm our body and our mind.

So, hi Ri, welcome to the show. Hi. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited. I'm excited too. And I like, I think about this topic and like, who doesn't need it, right? I mean, same, I know I'm a therapist, but you know, human, human first and being a mom is. Very human, and I know that you work a lot with, , triggers.

We all have triggers. I think I've snapped at least once in the last 24 hours at some point, right? Something mild came my way and I was like, rah, I don't even know. And I'm assuming. You are [00:01:00] gonna be able to explain all of the why behind that. So I would love for you to talk a little bit about, , what is behind all this overwhelm, this snapping, this reactiveness in, in our parenting or in our lives.

Forget it. Just as normal people. Yes, exactly. Just being, being again human. So there's a lot, there's actually a lot of why, and I think that people that are kind of reflecting on that get caught in this shame cycle because it feels like it's something that we should be able to control.

But the truth is that when we get triggered, what's happening in our brains and in our nervous system is things are kind of firing at crazy speeds. And we, in a way, we go offline. So we think of it when we get triggered as almost like you're going to a doctor and they're hitting your knee and your leg pops up and it's a reflex.

And we can't control it. So it's something that becomes uncontrollable in our system and [00:02:00] it's usually when our system gets out of its window of tolerance. And I'll explain what that is. So. Window of tolerance is like when we are in our optimal zone, this is when we can be responsive, not reactive. It's when we can name our feelings.

It's when we can. Um, it doesn't mean it's super cozy in there necessarily, but it's when we can really feel our feet on the ground. Now when something triggers us. It usually sends our nervous system into a state of fight or flight, which is more of a hyper aroused state, which usually looks like anxiety or agitation or irritability, or we drop into a hypo aroused state below our window of tolerance, which often looks like more of that freeze response or foing trauma response that we sometimes hear.

Where now we're in more of like, it almost like is a numb. Overwhelm, depression, dissociation out of body experiences where sometimes we feel like we're looking at life happening rather than feeling like we're in [00:03:00] it. Mm-hmm. So when that happens, it's our body's automatic way of trying to protect us from something.

In that moment when we're triggered, something comes online, the thing that it's triggering lights up in the brain and our system is responding to that, not necessarily just to what's happening in front of us, which is why it sometimes looks really confusing, where it's like, why did you just freak out over spilled milk, literally.

Mm-hmm. Right? When actually. Your system is freaking out over all of the little things that's fired up from before that that's feeding this moment. It doesn't mean you're not pissed about spilled milk, like maybe we're still, but it's more maybe like an agitated annoyance rather than like a scream or a lashing out or maybe even a shutdown withdrawal.

I'm out of here kind of response. What I'm hearing is if we have more of this tolerance window [00:04:00] availability, right?

Yeah. , Then like those little things could, we can react more in a. A more relaxed way, a more thoughtful way. Uh, like not as reactive, I guess, right? Yes, totally. And actually, I mean, I think it's unrealistic to think you're gonna go through this life, even with, if you've done all the therapy in the world, you feel like you've come to the end and you're, you know, you're, you're fully processed.

I think it's really unrealistic to think that you're never gonna get triggered and out of your window of tolerance. It's just not gonna happen because we're human, we're not robots. Right. Yeah. So, um, you know, it's, it's less about, oh gosh, how do I always stay in this window of tolerance? And I think it's more about, it's a little bit of compassion and awareness of like, oh, right, I'm triggered.

Ugh, what can I do in this moment to help me feel my feet on the ground and then respond to that? And oftentimes that looks like. We have to lean into repair in those [00:05:00] moments before then we also put words to what we were actually feeling or needing because those moments that are were, were triggered, whether it's high or low, are moments that help us understand, oh, I'm having a need.

Mm-hmm. I'm having a feeling in there and now how do I communicate? In a way where I feel like a person can be receptive to that, where I'm not putting them into a trauma response state and out of their window of tolerance and our kids, right? Mm-hmm. And where we can both feel grounded and then we can start to communicate what we're feeling.

Mm-hmm. And I think in those moments we're working on. Getting back into those window in our optimal window. But we're also working on expanding it over time because the more that we can tolerate disappointment, like disappointment, tolerance, distress tolerance, we're, we're working on actually expanding how much we can tolerate before we kind of go up and down into those trauma responses.

I love the word compassion for the trigger, right? , It's [00:06:00] okay. And how do you, in that moment then. Work with that. So how in that moment do you work with that? Great question. That is the question of the day, right? Yeah. It's like when we do lose our, um, how do we, what do we do and how do we be kind to ourselves and then lean into being able to be open and present for that conversation.

And so there's, there are a lot of ways to kind of help reset the system. First of all, just. Knowing that even a few breaths can help to reset the parasympathetic nervous system. So even like taking a pause, even aware, I'm losing my SHRT, right? I need to like go into the other room, take a few breaths, depending on your kiddo's age, obviously, but.

Take a moment, moment and then come back to it and understanding that it is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to, first of all, we can't control it all the time, our reactivity, so [00:07:00] how do we then say, oops, I was reactive. Own. And part of how we own it is how we can start to say, you know what? I don't have to be perfect.

I'm allowed to mess up. And then I'm allowed to lean in, own it, and still feel super connected to our kids in the process. Right? You're what are you modeling? You're modeling. You don't have to be perfect and actually perfect. Parenting doesn't foster secure attachment. It fosters anxious attachment.

Trying to be perfect is really anxiety provoking. Yeah. Right. We don't want our kids to feel like they have to be perfect. Yep. Even though it would be great if they followed all the things that it kept us, you know, like, uh, but you could be a little more perfect. Yeah. Um, no, but it's, it's this idea that you are really leaning into something that feels tricky.

It's okay to have tricky moments. How do we stay connected through that and then feel like, oh my gosh, I'm an okay person. I can take ownership of my mistakes, lean into it, and then [00:08:00] talk about maybe why I got so angry or why I got frustrated in that moment.

. I think the other piece that that going back to this idea of like how do we be compassionate if we think of ourselves as parts? There's a part of us that got really triggered. And then there's a part of us, probably our more adult self state, our more present adult self state that can look at that and say, uhoh, whatever got triggered, it was happening for a reason.

Whatever it's lighting up in the brain, it's happening for a reason. We can start to build empathy for that part of us that got triggered to say, oh, that part was feeling really scared, or That part was feeling really helpless. We're out of control. Okay. We need to help that part. Calm, right? So that then we can approach our child in a more adult, present day self state.

But we can start to also build this compassion with our internal family, parts of our own system, because there might be a child part that's coming out. Mm-hmm. There might be a [00:09:00] teen part that felt really misheard and under misunderstood. That's like in that moment that's getting triggered. Who knows?

It's different for everybody. Yeah. And our kids, I mean, this could be with anyone, right? I mean, this could be with coworkers, friends, like anyone, but like there's something about our kids that just mirror us, right? Or we feel like when they do something, it's like, oh my God, I see that. Or I'm worried about it 'cause it happened to me.

Or you know, this internal part that sometimes it's just not a true statement that is happening here. Right? So that's a whole other thing. I think with kids, we have such a connection to them and we see ourselves in them, and we don't want them to also experience some things that happened to us.

Yes. And I think some of that, that leads into so many different branches of conversation. But some of that, some of that is like this idea of what are we projecting onto our kids in their experience? What are we, what have we internalized Now we're voicing, oh my God, I just sounded like my mother or father, you know, and now I'm doing, and I'm repeating all the patterns.[00:10:00]

Right? Yeah. And also assuming that they're having that experience, but how are we different? From how we were raised, we're having an awareness that's happening, and then how do we lean into that again in the repair so that it can get processed? Because trauma or these moments, let's say, that send our kids into the dysregulation because we're dysregulated, is.

I think as parents, it's, it's a natural instinct to think, oh gosh, I just messed up. I just, oh my gosh, I really failed. I suck as a parent. Right? But if we can look at it as actually it's what happens after the intense moment that dictates a little bit more of how things get fixed into our system is helpful because it puts less pressure on that moment being perfectly attuned and cool.

You know, afternoon drop off went well, and the kids are not crazy in the back and you haven't yelled. Right? Like it, it takes the pressure off of that and then being able [00:11:00] to process what, what happens after helps their system also feel secure. Mm-hmm. With you and you and you with them. Now I'm thinking like our nervous system when it's kind of in this overwhelm state.

Like a lot for whatever, I dunno where I'm, I'm gonna say it's a lot, right? Like it can be a lot. Yes. I mean, it leads to like wear and tear and just like feeling a burnout. So are there signs that we should be looking for to even tell us that, okay, we need some work, , or we need more support really.

Yes, absolutely. I mean, our fuses are low, right? So sometimes it's not even just about what our child has just done in that moment to trigger us if we are. In depletion our, our ability to show up in grounded, calmer ways to be the container for that are just so much less. Mm-hmm. So if you find, oftentimes you can start to look for body cues, somatic cues, like [00:12:00] if you find that your heart is racing or your jaw is tight mm-hmm.

Or your shoulders are tense or whatever, you start to learn about what your body cues are. We can also start to, to kind of ask that question. What is our system needing in order to kind of fill the cup again with space so that there's more room to hold the dysregulation that is inevitably going to come with our kids, right?

So really starting to pay attention to what is our body telling us. Sometimes even being mindful that I'm depleted and I know I have to walk in that door and be on with my kids, even knowing that. Understanding. Understanding. I am like at my wits end already. Maybe something happened at work, maybe you didn't get a good night's sleep.

Maybe something's happening with your partner. Who knows? Maybe it's a buildup of things. . Maybe even taking a couple mindful breaths right before you go into. The door of like [00:13:00] feeling your feet on the ground, rolling your shoulders, maybe naming what you see around you so that you can really get into your present day.

Self state. For me, I like music. Music is really kind of regulating for me, to just kind of feel a little bit of that reset to give you a little bit more space to get dysregulated allows for, . I think some of that self-care stuff you, you talk about. And as you're talking, I'm, I would keep thinking like, okay, so I'm glad my family doesn't listen to my podcast.

My mom does, but like the family doesn't. So thank goodness they will not hear this. But I always, after I'm done with work, if I'm done at, you know, three o'clock, I tell everyone I'm done at three 30. I always put a half an hour to the end of my day of when I'm done. Because I need that half an hour to have that transition.

What, even if it's just like I'm sitting and doing nothing, you know, like I am having my half hour that I also feel like if I'm running late, I don't, I'm never late. I don't feel like I have to [00:14:00] rush home to do something or get someone or whatever. So I love my 30 minute buffer, I call it. I. Love that and I might steal it.

You can just don't let your family listen to this podcast and we're good. No, I mean, but that's, that's such a good awareness, right? That you need that time in order to show up in the way that you want to be able to show up a little bit more. I think sometimes what happens, and I see this a lot with clients, even in myself, I feel guilty, right?

I feel like I sh the shoulds, quote unquote shoulds. I should be able to show up. I should be able to be on, I should be able to transition. Okay? I should be able to. We're what we're actually trying to expect that of our kids too, but it's like they're not gonna be on all the time. They're containing usually all day in school, and then by the time they get to us, we get the, we get the best of 'em.

You know? Mm-hmm. Like, we get the, like meltdowns and the, the, what happens from all that containing same thing with us, right? Mm-hmm. If we're trying to be on for so many other things and we don't build in. Somewhat [00:15:00] of a buffer, or at least at the very least, acknowledge the weight that we're carrying instead of pretending that it's not there or that we should be able to make our way through it with ease.

Mm-hmm. I mean, already that helps to build that compassion that we're talking for ourselves, which again, creates a little bit more space for us to stay in our window of tolerance. And it's funny because there have been times in the past before I used to do this, it's like I would rush home and.

And what I realized is like no one really need, needed anything. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, what am I rushing for? Like, dinner's gonna be a little late it just started like thinking like, wait, do what? What, what am I rushing to? Like nothing.

Nothing. That's right. It's, I think it's, so much of it is the pressure we put on ourselves. Yeah. Of how we think we need to show up. Right. And that could come from external messages, what we see on social media. Picture Perfect stuff. As a trauma therapist and trauma informed therapist, I'm also getting curious about, you know, what is [00:16:00] the blueprint in how, what, what we're bringing into our relationship and attachment stuff with our kids, right?

Mm-hmm. So if we are feeling like I'm not good enough, if there's a core negative belief around that, because something, messages and childhood or whatever. That's going to exacerbate how we show up of like, I'm not good enough. Okay. That means, okay, I have three minutes to get to them and da da. And, and then even when they're not Val, like, oh my gosh, mom, thank God you're home.

Now we're wondering like, was I not good enough? Maybe I didn't enter happy enough or excited enough, or maybe I'm not doing right. There's so many things that it can continue. We can continue beating ourselves up over this need to, like, we're, we have to show up in a certain way. Yeah. And so with your specialization in trauma, how does that really affect these triggers?

Because there's small traumas, big traumas, I mean, those I think people don't even recognize they've had trauma is probably part of it too. So yeah. How do we tap [00:17:00] into that a little bit? Absolutely. I mean, that is, I, I think you hit. You said something really important, which is a lot of us don't even realize we're getting triggered from past stuff.

And I think sometimes trauma, the word trauma, we don't, A lot of us don't identify with that, so I like to actually think of that word as like impact. Things from our past have impacted us, right? And so when we are in present day relationships, stuff that has impacted us in the past gets stored in our bodies, in our brains.

And when there's something that actually extends out of the window of tolerance. When we're in those trauma responses and we go into fight or flight and they haven't been processed, so let's say we didn't have an attachment figure or someone to help us talk about it or process it, then it gets stored and encapsulated and frozen.

I. Which is why sometimes we have chronic illness that comes from past stuff, or we have [00:18:00] negative beliefs. I'm not deserving, I'm not enough, I'm too much. Um, I'm a failure. These things that get again. We didn't get to process it back then, or as we were growing through our years, they get stored. No one can see this, but I'm holding up my hand like a fist with like the brain, right?

And when something gets stored, it gets frozen in our brain and frozen in our nervous system. So let's say something happens present day and it lights up that part of our brain that is storing that experience. The system can't tell. It can't differentiate. From past, and that's part of where. The grounding tools that you can start to do, even the two breaths naming what's around you, present day at the, those are simple here and now strategies.

Putting cold water on your face, sensory changes can kind of help activate your system to remember like, oh, okay. I am, you know, 43 years old and I [00:19:00] am, you know, back in my adult self state. That's right. They're my child, they're not my dad or that's right. They're my child.

It's not my brother who bullied me or the kid in third grade, right? So it's all these things, these memories unconsciously coming up, those reflexes that are coming up in our present day doesn't have to be these big t traumas. Our brain doesn't actually know the difference. It's these experiences that have impacted us over time that really didn't get processed, and that's what continues.

I would say for 99.9999999% of the population, things are getting triggered all over the place, and it's usually things like that. So because I could see people still not like recognizing like they get triggered, but not necessarily like recognizing it's something from childhood or somewhere along the line that impacted them.

Right. But what I'm hearing it possibly is this kind of like when you do get triggered, it doesn't matter if you don't know [00:20:00] necessarily where it's coming from, but taking a like a pause to say, okay, there's something going on that's important. Right? Like, why would it be triggered by. Milk spilling, you know?

Not a big deal. Totally. So there's this idea of like shorter term solution focused strategies. Mm-hmm. And, and oftentimes that's helpful enough to do a reframe and a reset and you're like back at it and things are good to go. Right. We messed up, we misstep, but we can find our way back. Some people, if it's so pervasive or you find yourself kind of getting stuck or looping in these patterns,

that's usually a sign that it might be something. More worth exploring potentially in therapy or just starting to get curious about what is that actually triggering from? Like, and, and one way that you can start to get curious about it is, let's say you notice that you, when you get angry at your kiddo, you start to feel really hot in [00:21:00] your cheeks and a tight agitation in your chest.

One way that you can start to be curious is like, okay. Focus on that intensity in your chest and if you were to close your eyes and float that, that, that same sensation back in time, are there other memories that come up that were, that where you felt that way? Even if it feels like it's not associated, but it doesn't quite make sense, it's like, okay, yeah, that happened last week.

Okay, let's go earlier than that. Anything from like teen years? Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was with my friend. Okay, let's go earlier than that. That's, that's one way that you can start to get curious and track. Is there something that's fueling or providing ammo for how I'm reacting in my life?

Today. And that's actually, you know, I, I, I'm very passionate about that, with kind of looking at how do we reparent ourselves mm-hmm. While we're parenting our kids. And it's really looking at that, [00:22:00] especially when parents or moms or dads even are like, I don't understand that I had a great childhood. I don't understand.

Why I'm always losing it. Or why I shut down and wanna escape, or why. It's really starting to help try to make sense out of that in a more meaningful way. Because those shorter term reframes of like, I'm safe now. Okay, well part of you feel safe, but the other parts that are activated never got processed and

processed. Actually. Feel more present in your connection. Does that make sense? Yeah. Because, no, that totally makes sense because these emotional pieces, like we always think of like physical stuff, my neck is tight, right? But like, what emotion do you hold there? That is always tight.

And those emotional pieces definitely can affect us from our healing process, even on a physical level, not just, just not just the cognitive piece. Totally. And actually, sometimes if you can talk [00:23:00] about it, it's already living in what's called our prefrontal cortex. Mm-hmm. If, if you can access the words, it's already living in a part of your brain that, like we can talk about it a lot when we get triggered.

It's not what's living in the front part of our brain. It drops into our reptilian part of our brain. Which is what stores the emotions and the intensity and the sensations that go into our body somatically, and that's what we're really talking about when we're triggered because our prefrontal cortex goes offline.

If we could stay in that, we'd be like, I'm feeling really angry right now. Mm-hmm. Not the reactivity. Right. Yeah. So, so we're sometimes, often we don't have the words to make sense out of it, and sometimes our doorway into being curious is like, well, what is my body telling me? Yeah. About what I'm needing.

Like all I know is that I want to. Fly away from here and not come back. Take backseats. I don't wanna be a mom today. I'm out. Right. [00:24:00] And it's like, wait a minute. Like, okay, I'm in fight or flight. I just, I'm, I'm something, something is agitating. I have no idea what it is. This happened to me recently actually, where I was just like, I don't know.

I, I was super depleted. I wasn't, I was. Not doing the self-care that I needed to stay regulated. And I was finding myself like almost on the verge of panic attacks being like, and like I had no idea what was the connecting tissue. And I'm a therapist and I'm like, I know my stuff. Mm-hmm. You know, but it was because there was so much that my body was carrying that I hadn't paid attention to, but I was like.

Let's get curious that that's my doorway into starting to understand what's actually coming up for me, and then I can start to process it. Yeah. And I just wanna also point out like, yes, you're a therapist, right? And you know all the work, but it's different when you do stuff with yourself, because , it's hard to stay like just neutral here, and let's just backtrack.

It's [00:25:00] having that extra person to maybe help you navigate through that. So. Yes, we could do stuff ourself, but at some point sometimes, thank you, Lisa. But that's it, right? I mean, because I think even as parents like, oh, but I've done all the books and I took this course and I know all the things. And again, I'm reminding that of myself and you just reminded me of that.

And it's like, but when some, when you get triggered. It goes out the window. And I'm like trying to be like, what are the strategies? What did I say in my podcast on Wayside? You know, like, it's like Lisa said, go talk to somebody. No, I'm just, that's go get help sere. Call your therapist. No, but it's, it's those reinforcements, it's those reminders that there are the tools, there is the help out there and also.

You're human and of course you're going to get triggered and especially as a parent, you are going to get triggered. Especially as a parent, because there's so much developmentally that [00:26:00] as your kids are growing is body memories that are coming up for you as a parent where when you were developmentally that age, getting triggered of stuff that you've internalized from your parents, like there's so much that gets triggered in a very different way than living life.

Child. . Now you're a therapist and I know you do some great things like EMDR and not just the talk mm-hmm. Therapies, right? So maybe tell us a little bit about that stuff too, because I do think parents, don't know who to go to if they feel like they need more help and or so another party besides reading all the books and doing all the things themselves.

But there are a lot of resources out there. So maybe tell us a little bit about yours. Absolutely. So yes, there is the talk therapy, but if you find that again. The, those more solution focused type things, or those one size fits all, things don't, they're just not sticking in the way that it needs to.

It's [00:27:00] there are modalities that can help access beyond what you're just able to talk about. Mm-hmm. And how things are actually processed in the body. So EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization reprocessing, blah. But what that means is, it's a mouthful, but what that means at its core, originally it used eye movements.

But what that was doing was it was bilaterally accessing the brain, the right and the left hemisphere to help make new connections in the brain of here and now versus past to help the system start to reorganize the way memories impact trauma has been stored. And so it does that as it's accessing both sides of the brain.

If I'm tapping right here, it's waking up my right. Hemisphere. If I'm tapping the other side of my body, it's waking up the opposite, the left hemisphere. So body, brain, mind, if you have to feel things on one [00:28:00] side, it's activating one part.

Okay? So it's creating new communication between right and left. Hemisphere. And so it's allowing whatever got stored in the system to start to circulate and move. And it's almost like you're one foot back in time, one foot in an office to help. The system feel the difference of the here and now versus past.

It sounds very different, but almost like that EFT tapping, you're also doing some tapping. Is that also similar to like stimulating. Yeah, It is very similar. There's also brain spotting. Mm-hmm. I do brain spotting.

Mm-hmm. Which is a sister modality to EMDR. There's parts work. I mean, there's so many different kinds of ways that we can start to make sense out how we have stored mm-hmm. Different experiences, in our system that can help us show up differently, in connection. Yeah, and I think the big [00:29:00] takeaway is that if you tried therapy and you've done talk therapy, but you're still feeling triggered that there are other modalities that you can look for, that some other therapists might have that could help you too, to get more of a somatic and brain working together.

Yeah, absolutely. And there's somatic experiencing, and I mean, yes, there are all sorts of different modalities, that can be helpful. I, I take a very integrated approach depending on, what the client or what the person, is needing. So what is one thing that you want moms to start doing today

besides booking an appointment with you? Well, I'm in California, so I dunno. I'm just kidding. I mean, you certainly can. I have a good practice and we can connect you with resources, but I think that that a big takeaway if, if I were to leave. Anybody with anything, honestly, it's like building that compassion for self, right?

And one of the ways is you can kind of, if you are able to take the [00:30:00] pause, a couple of breaths, and then it's almost like naming it to tame it. If you can name, what am I actually feeling right now? I'm feeling blank. It's like I'm feeling overwhelmed, or I am feeling angry, or I'm feeling flooded, or I am feeling.

Depleted. I'm feeling helpless. If you're able to do that and create some distance from the reactivity, then you're able to have like, okay, now no wonder I was reactive. Of course I was reactive. Now how do I respond to that? How do I then communicate what I'm feeling? So it's that pause after the, if you can catch yourself in the reactivity or after the reactivity, you pause, take a, a couple of resetting breaths.

If you need to put water again, water or ice cubes or even hot tea, any kind of temperature change. And then it's like, okay, what am I actually feeling in this moment [00:31:00] right now, I'm feeling unheard by my five-year-old. You know, or I'm feeling rejected. Oh, okay. Well, they're five or they're 15. That's right.

They're doing what they're supposed to do. They're like in a tantrum. They're rejecting and I'm the parent and I can see that now more clearly. And do you feel that doing this type of, in the moment work alone, I know there's a lot of stuff we talked about, but do you think that it lets us become less reactive the next time it happens?

I do. I mean, I think it takes a lot of repetition. Mm-hmm. Right. So just because you name it once. Again, you're human, but I think that as you start to become more aware of what's coming up in you,. It will become more apparent and obvious. So in those [00:32:00] moments, you can either catch it quicker or you can put words to it a little bit differently, or you can be mindful of it in the repair in a way that's less overwhelmed by like.

What happened? How do I find my way back? I mean, you become more confident, I think, in your own nervous system so that then you can help your kids co-regulate, which is basically like lending your calm, but it takes you being calm first. And calm doesn't mean happy. Calm means grounded. In your, in yourself,

Well, tell us where the listeners find you, and I know you have lots to offer, so tell us some of your offerings too. Thank you. Yeah, you can find me on my Instagram at ri rose therapy, S as in Sam, a RI Rose therapy. Um, and I also have some free parenting scripts that in those tricky moments, um, as you're starting to build awareness, it's sometimes really helpful to just have some mantras or some grounding words that you can say while you're trying to gather your regulation.

[00:33:00] Together and that, you know, I'll share that with you so that you can share it with your listeners, a link to get those. And speaking of courses, I have packed like months and months and months worth of therapy into, , a course that's available for parents, particularly of teens right now called Raising Your Team Without Losing your Mind.

, But actually the focus, it does have strategies, but the focus really is on what is getting triggered in us. What is getting triggered so that we can start to build that awareness. So it's strategy, yes, but it's really starting to deeper dive into those questions that we can start to regulate first.

Well, thank you for coming on the show and sharing all your expertise. I learned so much and I like the looking around the room thing and, and the cold water. I never think to do that.

Like I'm good with breathing. I'm like, Ooh. And I say a little mantra, but the actual, like in the moment, putting myself back in there, I love that. That's. Something I'm gonna use today. [00:34:00] I love that. Yes. It just helps us get back in the room, right? Yeah. Where it helps us get back online when we are offline.

So thank you so much. I had such a nice time talking to you, Lisa. Thank you

Thank you for listening to this episode.

Sarre was such a wonderful guest

if you wanna learn more about re or

Check out her course or her freebie . Just click on the link in the show notes and until next week, keep carving out time for yourself and keep putting yourself on top of your to-do list.