Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance with Amy Koford

Welcome to the Real Life Momz podcast, where we put ourselves at the top of our to-do list. I'm Lisa Foster, your host, and today I'm here with fellow mom, author, hypnotherapist Amy Koford. And today we are shifting our mindset from scarcity to abundance. Hi Amy. Welcome to the show. Hi. Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to have you because I know this is something I struggle with. I keep getting pulled back into the scarcity and lack no matter how much I try.

So I'm excited to hear what you have to say. And it seems like something that would be easy oh, I can think of. Think about being abundant. Abundance, yes, and voila, it all appears, but that is not what happens, is it? Nope. Nope. Not that easy. It can, theoretically it can, but it's typically not how it goes.

Yeah. So why do you think so many people like myself struggle with this struggle in this scarcity [00:01:00] mentality? It's because our minds are in a, in. Mode, let's say, from our ancestors of finding things that could be threatening. And so the result of that is that it's easier to notice the negative.

Yeah. And it's also easier to notice what could potentially go wrong or threatened. And so we'll delve into my book later, but my book addresses this a lot because my book is all about fear and things like that so we tend to do that because it's easier, because it feels safer. Which is ironic, isn't it?

Because having an abundance mindset is much safer, right? Because abundance brings freedom and peace, but the human mind is. Just more easily able to notice the negative. And it's just a survival instinct, but it's why we struggle as humans so much, with [00:02:00] fears and with not getting along with each other or whatever, us versus them.

There's so much to this and part of that, as a hypnotist, I work with people's subconscious mind, which is the bigger part of our mind, and that is where the problem is. Because the job of our subconscious is to keep us alive and safe. Now, that can be both good and bad. It's good because we want it to keep us alive and safe, right?

It keeps our blood pumping. It does, our heart beating. It makes us breathe into the night, things like that. But it also because it wants to keep us alive and safe. That is the very thing that can keep us having an a scarcity mindset. Oh, wait a minute. You gotta be careful. Yeah. Yeah, it's ironic because it, it keeps us alive and safe, but in ways that holds us back.

And I wonder like why isn't like the abundance. Why can't that be [00:03:00] safe? What, what happened that, do you know what I'm saying? What happened in our lives? Oh yeah. That the safety mechanism is towards that scarcity and negativity and that we weren't just programmed from the get go. That yeah, this is the way and abundance is safe.

And then I guess my second part is can we shift that? Yeah. And you bring up a good point, that is that I believe personally that we actually arrive on this planet equipped with that abundance mindset. We are born as powerful beings, and we're ready. So the title of my book is Hardwired to Rise.

And what I mean by that is, yes, we are hardwired to rise up, to rise above these kind of things. But then what happens again is that not only. Do we learn that things can go wrong in life? But we've also got our ancestors that [00:04:00] lived in hard times. Some of us may have been lucky to have really wealthy ancestors, but by and large, most of our ancestors struggled.

And because they struggled, maybe they were peasants or maybe they lived on farms or, any number of things. I know that my ancestors, whew, we don't wanna get into that

because there was some serious issues there. But the point too is that because of that, our minds tend to go with what our ancestors and how we were raised. Because how our ancestors lived has an effect on how our parents raised us because they were raised how their parents viewed the world.

And yeah, there, there's several things that go into that, right? There's no one reason why it's a struggle to have an abundance mind as opposed to a scarcity. But all of them come together where we have to. Battle those and win. Yeah. All those factors. Yeah. Okay. [00:05:00] So to shift this, I'm feeling like there's work that we're gonna have to do to conquer these fears, right?

It's not just about thinking, oh, abundantly. It's also maybe addressing some of those fears, maybe limiting beliefs or maybe that we have You betcha. Yeah. Okay. So not so easy. This is why it's. It's not like instant. Okay. So tell us, how do we start shifting that One is that you first brought to get rid of the garbage.

So in order to do now, I recommend hypnotism because that's the fastest, easiest, and most effective way to do it, and that's always what I do with clients. My first approach is where and what is the garbage? What are those limiting beliefs? What are those? Ideas, those thoughts that are getting in the way.

And that can cover an a range of things, right? I help people with past traumas and I help people with depression and anxiety and even sports performance [00:06:00] and get 'em to quit smoking in one session. So everything that comes to me, all the people, all the clients that bring these issues, they all have some.

Something about them that needs to be released, taking out the trash. So that's my first approach is you have to start looking and saying, okay, what is it like? What are my beliefs? At a deep level? What are my beliefs about money, about, is there's some part of me that believes I don't deserve this, or I'm not worthy or.

Did my parents, or was I told that I could never amount to anything. There's all kinds of things that you've got to start looking at the bigger picture here and saying what needs to go. And when you start to understand that, in my book I bring up things that help you let go of the garbage, but in its simplest form, yeah.

You gotta start saying, all right. [00:07:00] Those are the beliefs that I don't want to have anymore, because those are the beliefs that are making it hard. And then you've got to start to figure out what needs to go and how to let it go. Now that's where I come in with clients. They come to me, they don't know how.

Oh, I've tried, and I get a lot of people that say. I don't even know why this is a struggle for me. A lot of people, and that covers a multitude of issues. Weight loss. I've had a lot of people, I don't know why I, emotionally, I don't know why it's hard for me to not sit at front, in front of the TV at nine o'clock eating a gallon of ice cream.

And so we have to go to where it started. And with clients, I have to do that. And so if you're not with a hypnotist, there's gonna be some soul searching there. Where did this come from? What do I need to get rid [00:08:00] of? And how do I do that? And that's where my book comes in. Because what I did with that is.

The techniques. So every chapter in that has different techniques, proven systems that I use with clients. And by proven, I've used them. They've been tried and tested and they work. And so yeah, there's visuals, there's hypnotic things, there's even an audio with that. But if you can't use that, then you gotta start imagining the trash.

Imagine that you can pull it out. Because it's not serving you. You also have to give yourself permission to let it go. As weird as that sounds. Yeah. Because you've been holding onto it for several reasons, you may not even know what those reasons why you've been holding it onto it are.

And so like I was saying, people come in and they say, I don't know why I'm like this, and I'll say [00:09:00] it, it's okay. Even if you don't know why, let me guide your unconscious to let it go. Once in a while, I will actually put someone in hypnosis and ask their subconscious directly, what is the purpose of this if I can't seem to get it.

If I can't really get to that core issue, then yeah, sometimes I'll sell the client. You're gonna be talking in this session. Normally you're not talking, but in this one you're going to be talking because I have to get some answers from your unconscious mind. So yeah, sometimes I'll just ask the subconscious what's going on.

I, you gotta tell me 'cause Yeah, this is a mystery. And it's crazy the answers that I get. Yeah, I bet Oftentimes it shocks the client. Where afterwards when I bring them out of hypnosis and we have a little chitchat about it, they'll say, whoa, I didn't that. [00:10:00] Yeah I wonder though, is it truly important for them to actually know?

What if they don't know, but they're still feeling ready to take out the trash? Like they know what the trash is, but they don't know why, and maybe it's hard to get to why you still move forward, or are you still gonna be stuck in a loop if you don't figure out the way? Of course. No, you can still move forward for sure.

It's that you've got to allow it to happen. And it's the same with hypnotism. I'll tell them, look, if you resist this at all, it's not going to work. I can only get in there and make changes if you allow it to happen. And so you gotta understand, so all the listeners out there. Your subconscious is merely a computer, so when you understand that, it starts to get a little easier.

Okay? You, a computer can be reprogrammed or you can delete and add programs or write, customize it, [00:11:00] coloring and all this stuff that you can do, whereas the conscious mind is like a gatekeeper. Now we need it. It's our analytical logical, right? It's our list maker. It's the one that's going through, okay, how am I doing today?

Or What did I get done? Or whatever like that. But how many of us overthink and overanalyze sound familiar? Anyone? Yes. How many of us overthink and overanalyze it? Probably most. And so that's your conscious mind. That you have to think for whenever you're overthinking things, way over analyzing things.

So when we can get the un, the conscious mind outta the way, now we can get into that part that just takes what we give it. The subconscious. And now we're talking. Right now, we can get things accomplished [00:12:00] because it is literally just a computer that takes what you give it. Yes, of course. It's part of the problem because that's where our memories and emotions, but it's also very pliable, the subconscious mind.

It's said that you can form habits in three weeks. And it's because it's just going into the subconscious, moving from conscious to subconscious, becoming a habit that can be good or bad. I get people to stop smoking that have stopped, that have smoked 30, 40, even 50 years. It's just a habit.

They think it's an addiction, but it's not. It's a habit. Wow. And it's, way in the subconscious. How can I get them to stop smoking in one session? Because I have to reprogram the subconscious to say, this is deadly. Your job is to keep them alive and safe, and this goes against that. And so you reject it.

Ah, so I put it in there so firmly that [00:13:00] they would never be able to smoke again if even if they wanted to, it would be, they'd have to really try because their body is gonna be like, Nope. Yeah. So you're creating almost this fear that it's no longer safe, and so that's what we respond to.

All right. I have to backtrack a little bit. Sure. Do. Tell me what a session looks like because here, you hear hypnotherapy, you're like, you are getting sleepy. The stopwatch going back and forth and what is happening in the session? What does it actually look like to do these sessions?

Yeah, so similar where I put in a nice comfy chair and I'll tell 'em, you could resist if you wanted to, but that's not why you're here and I'm going to take excellent care of you. And when the session is over, you're gonna be a different person and are you ready? And when they give me their, yes, I'm ready, I'll say, okay.[00:14:00]

And then I've got a number of ways to get them in the state of hypnosis. Some of them are fun and short. It just depends how many sessions we're doing and what we're accomplishing. But I have a number of ways to get people in that state of hypnosis normally just takes a couple minutes. Actually, and actually that's just talking through like a relaxation, almost like a meditation feel or breath work or?

No. Like oftentimes I'll use an induction that involves something where it shocks the nervous system sleep, right? Oh. Something where I'm like doing something that, it shocks the nervous system and they go into that state. Wow. Uhhuh. And from there. So that's quick. I get someone in hypnosis in seconds.

And from there, then I guide them to go deeper and more relaxed. So that it's easy for them. So yeah, I have a number of ways, but yeah, typically it's that initial, get 'em in quick and then guide them deeper and then get to [00:15:00] work. So when you are working with somebody who's really dealing with this cycle of, scarcity, always overthinking just fear where whatever it's about, money, health, whatever, success what are some things that you really find that you tap into to help shift over to that abundance?

I tap into. Where it came from, why it's there, how it started, when did it start? Why, why is it still here? And like I was saying, it's similar to smoking, right? Where okay, we gotta find out what really is the issue here. And change that and get the subconscious to understand that it's not benefiting this person.

It's holding them back and they don't want this anymore. So the interesting thing is, a minute ago I mentioned about habits and things and how [00:16:00] throughout our lives as we get these beliefs and they become a part of us, we actually. Not on purpose. Convince our subconscious that's the way that we want it.

Crazy, huh? So if someone is in a scarcity mindset, it's because they have adopted those beliefs and convinced their subconscious, this is the way I want it, even though they don't want it, they, and they don't realize that they've done that. That's the truth. And so I have to get in there and switch things around and say they don't want this or need this anymore.

This way of thinking, this way of believing. And that's a huge shift. 'cause the subconscious is what? But this is how we've always done things, or this is how it's been and this person wanted it this [00:17:00] way or thought they did, or, made me believe that they did. So I hope that makes sense.

Yeah. I'm starting to think though, it's what if you're in there and you're, and that you don't want the scarcity, but the thing that you think you want, you actually don't want either. What happens then, like you hate? That's a good question. I'll tell you, I have, I had a number of experiences with clients where, okay, just one example of a ton, right?

I had a young woman, low twenties, who had anxiety so bad that she would vomit pretty much every day. And the here, so this is just one example that illustrates all of what you're talking about. Okay? So I did one particular technique with her where I said, okay, so we're doing this, and this. Is it okay with you to get rid of this?[00:18:00]

And there was a little hesitancy and I said, is there any reason you want to keep some of this or any of this? And there's hesitancy, right? There's like this I said, okay, what is it? And it turns out that the, that although she hated this anxiety, she also wanted it. Because there was this perception that it was keeping her safe.

So now we have to dig deeper. Why do you want to stay safe? What is, what are those fears that are behind you not feeling safe. So how does it relate to what you were just talking about? Same thing, right? There is a part of you that. Might have a hard time letting go because there's some benefit that you subconsciously believe it's giving you.

Yeah. I can see that almost like there is a protection [00:19:00] there, we think it's, yeah. Even though it's maybe harmful or not good for us, but Oh yeah. In some ways if your body feels like it's, it is helping you, it is protecting you, and yeah, to lose it might feel. Yeah, not, maybe not ready for that.

Yeah. Maybe there's more work to do. Maybe not one session, maybe a few. Oh yeah. Sometimes we have to do several sessions, but yeah, there is that fear of the unknown sometimes. Ironically, some people think that fear is their security blanket. Like her, right? Oh, it's keeping me alive and safe. So in my book I talk about it's not fear that's keeping you safe.

Not the emotion of fear, that's not what does it. It's common sense or being prepared what logic. Just things that keep you safe, don't cross the freeway. But it's not the actual emotion of fear. And nowadays I, it's ironic that we almost see [00:20:00] people that need a little more of that.

Self-protecting fear. Yeah. They'll bungee jump or they'll climb Everest or whatever, knowing it's really not safe. Yeah. Now, what do you feel is the biggest thing that actually moves the needle? Like someone who maybe even has worked in hypnotherapy, has done a lot of this internal work, whatever they've used.

But, and they feel abundant. Maybe they even feel abundant, but they're not. Seeing the results. If they actually look at what they want, what their goal is, what they're trying to get through, they're just not seeing it move the needle. What I, what's happening there? There's something, right?

There's something lingering, right? Yes. And that's, yeah. Like I say, some people come into me and they say, I don't know why. And often it's at that stage that you just described. Because they tried other things. They make [00:21:00] changes, they've attempted, they've put in some effort, and they're not getting the results that they want.

Then they come to me and say, I just don't know why, can you help me? Yeah, sure. And do you feel like there's something common, even within the sessions that come up that's oh, this always moves the needle. This moves the needle, this then they're there. Not necessarily just one thing because everyone's different.

Everyone responds differently. Everyone has different life experiences. So what I do in the one-on-one sessions is I will try this approach and then that approach and I'm starting to do classes or workshops, if you will, for depression and anxiety, and each one of those is going to be different.

And, but I can tell you that every session does benefit the people. And oftentimes it's just one session. [00:22:00] Sometimes there's layers and it's more complex. And so then we have to do more than one session. And sometimes it's very complex and it, and there's no right or wrong. And I tell people that, don't feel bad.

You are where you are, and it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's different. There's no right one way for anyone or anything. So yeah. To move the needle. Yeah. I do have a few things that are incredibly powerful that I typically use with everyone in the first session or two, because they have proven time and time again to be the most effective.

So do you wanna share those? What are they? So I, in, typically in the first session, depending on what we're doing, I will speak directly to their unconscious. And I'm actually just saying, okay, you just go away, basically. And then I'm literally just [00:23:00] speaking to their unconscious mind and I'm having their, so I have their hand on a pillow, and I'll have the unconscious move their finger to respond to me.

And the crazy thing about that is that I can have someone snoring, like they will be snoring and their unconscious is still responding to me. Amazing. Yeah. They're not actually aware. Are they aware? Are they aware? Not aware. Not if they're snoring.

No, not they're snoring. Okay, interesting. Okay, so they're responding. That is so cool. Yeah, and if they're not snoring and they're just in a deep state, they're still aware and I'll tell. You'll hear my voice the whole time through this. And even if you don't, no matter how far inside you travel, no matter how deep you go, you will always be able to hear my voice and follow my instructions.

And yeah, sometimes they're very aware and I'll tell them, look, it's okay. Some people [00:24:00] expect that they turn into a zombie. That they have no idea what in the world is going on during the session. And that's just not true. That's not how it's gonna be now, but everyone's different. So just go with the way that you're going with it.

Don't try to manage it or make it happen a certain way. I promise you that the changes are happening. You don't need to worry about that. If you're, eyes are closed and you're wondering if you're hypnotized or not, or if it's working or not, just throw it out the window because it is, it's working.

And it is, and I'll tell 'em, look, I've done thousands of sessions, and so trust me when I tell you it's working because I've seen it all. I had one woman years and years ago, her entire first session. She was in the recliner with her eyes [00:25:00] closed and the whole session, she was like, this isn't working.

I'm not hypnotized the whole time. And I would say, yeah, you are. You're hypnotized. You might not think you are, but you are. And so the whole time she's got her eyes closed and telling me that I'm not hypnotized and. Crazy thing. She comes back her the next week and I thought, oh boy, here we go.

Oh, and I didn't tell you. The next day I get a scathing email from her, like a two page email telling me how terrible I was and all this stuff. I'm like, whoa. So she comes back for her second session the next week and I said how are you? And she's I can't believe how much better I have felt this week.

I'm shocked that it worked. I said, see, I told you now. Do you believe me? She's yeah. That's just one example, right? So I tell people, look, [00:26:00] you're hypnotized even if you think you're not, because I know if you are, it's easy for me to tell if someone is or not. Yeah. Yeah, it's an interesting, it's a fascinating thing.

I love what I do. Because it's just super fascinating. It's never the same. It's just, I love what I do. It's fascinating and that's why I'm going one to many. Now I can help a lot more people in a group setting than I can one-on-one. One-on-one. You're limited, right? You only have so much time in a day.

So I'm excited to be doing that. Yeah. How do you do starting this month? How do you even do it in a group? I'm assuming it's so personalized. Like how do you do many at one time? Same as you do? It is in a one-on-one. The only difference really is that I, I'm actually, I'm still gonna have their unconscious respond to me.

But I don't use their name. Like when I'm doing one-on-one I'll during the hypnosis session, I'll be using their name and [00:27:00] things like that. But really it's the same stuff. It's gonna still work really well as long as they let it work. Same as if they're one-on-one. Yeah. But it's gonna be more affordable for them too.

My one-on-one sessions are expensive and the group setting won't be as much money. Yeah, so it opens it up as a better opportunity for a lot of people. And I'm gonna, like I say, I'm gonna do 'em every month and every month will be a different approach to it because I've helped so many people with depression and anxiety, and I have personal experience with it too.

I've gone through some long, severe bouts of depression in the past, and I came out of all of them. Learned a lot and I learned, I use what I learned to help others. Yeah, that's that's why I got good at it. Yeah. Such powerful work. So what do you want the listeners to start doing after listening to [00:28:00] this session?

I will tell you this, every one of you out there, especially because it, this is mostly women, right? There's probably maybe a couple of guys that will listen to this podcast. Handful, yes. At most, right? So all you women out there, I want you to know that you're more than what you think you are, okay?

That's the first step. You have got to believe me when I tell you that you are more than what you think you are. Start thinking bigger. Talk about abundance. That's one of the key things. Another thing that is important when it comes to abundance mindset is that you have to know what you want. You will never get what you want if you don't know what you want.

Yeah, that's just how it is. You have to know what you want, and you have to make it crystal clear exactly what you want. That's a [00:29:00] huge part of having an abundance mindset. What does abundance mean to you? How do you define that? It's different for everyone. There's no one standard definition of what abundance is.

It's what it is to everyone, and so you have to know what you want. You have to start thinking bigger. You have to understand that you're powerful, you're amazing, you're a miracle, and. Then your world starts opening up to more abundance. So all you women, you're beautiful. You are amazing. Every one of you listening to this, I promise you, every one of you is beautiful and amazing.

You're strong, you're confident, and you're powerful. So start to connect with that greatness that's within you and stop criticizing yourself. Stop it. I do motivational speaking and keynote [00:30:00] speeches, and I always bring up to the audience who here criticizes themselves, and a couple hands go up and I'll say, all right, come on.

All the rest of you. Be honest, because I've learned working with many people over the years that most people are highly critical of themselves. And it'll go like this. I'll have a client with me and I'll say, do you ever criticize yourself? And I'll go all the time. Like what a stupid question is how they answer it.

And I'll say how's that working out for you? So same with when I'm doing a speech. I'll say, all right, be honest and more hands go up. And then I'll say, okay, so one of you that raised your hand. I want you to stand up and tell all of us all the benefits of criticizing yourself. And they just smirk a little.

I'm like, there are no benefits. So why do you do it? Yeah. [00:31:00] Yeah. So you gotta stop and look at it this way. So this is a mom's broadcast, right? So everyone listening pretty much is a parent. Think about your kids. You love your kids, you want the best for your kids. Now I have five kids and I can tell you I love them more than anything in the world, right?

My kids are more important to me than anything. I love them dearly. So when you think about your kids, do you want them to love themselves? Right now, kids are smart, especially nowadays. I think kids are even more. Aware of what's going on around them than they've ever been. And so if you don't want your kids to criticize themselves, guess what?

You gotta stop criticizing yourself because they'll see it they'll sense it. They'll pick up on it, and guess what they'll end up doing? Being highly critical of [00:32:00] themselves. So think of it in that terms, right? You love your kids. What do you wanna do? Set a good example. 'cause they know kids can tell if you love yourself or if you're critic.

They just know. And look at it that way too. Yeah. And just like you said earlier, handing things down generation to generation, right? We can hand down the bad stuff, but we can also hand down the good stuff. And that would be one. Absolutely. Yes. And so one of the best things that you can do for your kids.

Is to love yourself and to connect with your greatness that you have within you. Because you'll be a better mom by doing that. You will set a good example for them and you will light the world. Yeah. That's beautiful. So all it, there's no downside to that. When you embrace your power, when you know that you're a miracle, right?

When you connect to your authentic self that way. [00:33:00] It's all positive. Yeah. Beautifully said. Thank you. Now where can the listeners find you and tell us about your book and what else you offer. Okay. Yeah, so my book just went international bestseller last, oh yay. No, not last week. It's been like two or three weeks now.

Yay. It is officially an international bestseller, so that makes me super, super happy because the reason I wrote it. Was to help people. And if no one reads it, it's not gonna help people. So I'm excited that it's doing well, and I promise you that it will help you in many ways. I worked so hard, I took me like a million hours.

I couldn't use any ai, I couldn't use any ghost writers. It had to be me because I had to utilize my experience, my knowledge, all that I've learned, and pour it into the pages. And so yeah, that can be found on Amazon and it's called [00:34:00] Hardwired to Rise live fearlessly, prosperously and optimally. So it's gonna help you understand how to have an abundant mindset.

It's got a lot packed into there that's positive. And I made it fun to read. I didn't want it to just be like a college text, where it just tells you. I wanted it to be a good read, and so I made it fun and full of personality and full of interesting stories and information and every chapter has those techniques and things that you can use that work for you. So that's on Amazon. And then on my website, it's amy fer.com, spelled A-M-Y-K-O ford.com, and you'll find the link to my book. You'll also find. I gotta get my upcoming live in-person events on there, and I will also make those available to attend online.

That's great. So that you can do it at home if you don't live near [00:35:00] me. But yeah, I gotta get those on my website. I just haven't done that yet. But yeah, there's a link to my store and my store has things to benefit you. It has audios that you listen to that reprogram your mind while you're falling asleep for confidence, for health, for a number of things to reduce stress.

And I've got on there my program that has different hypnotic sessions that you can do either with me, which will cost more, or you can do them as like videos. Prerecorded sessions. So yeah, I've got a bunch of stuff on there to benefit you. Thank you so much for coming on and talking to us.

For sharing everything and your wonderful book that's touching everyone out there in the world.

Thank you so much for having me and all of you. You're wonderful. So go live your best life.

Thank you for listening to this episode. If you wanna learn more about [00:36:00] Amy and everything that she offers, including her book, just click on the link in the show notes and until next week, keep carving out time for yourself and keep putting yourself on top of your to-do list.