Is Your Subconscious Mind Running the Show? With Hypnotherapist Kate Semeniuk

Welcome to the Real Life Moms podcast. It is time to take a break from all our to-dos and carve out this time to focus on ourselves. I'm Lisa Foster, your host, and today I am here with fellow mom and rapid transformational hypnotherapist, Kate Semeniuk.

And we are diving into the power of the subconscious mind. I almost wanna be like, do, do, do, do. But Hi Kate. Welcome to the show. Thank you, Lisa, for such a great introduction and I'm happy to be here and to share what I know and what can help your audience. Oh, well I am excited to hear everything you know, but maybe we can start with something simple.

Let's explain a little bit more about like what exactly is the subconscious mind and what, why is it different than the conscious mind? Yeah, subconscious mind is that operating system, let's just say right, where all the progress are running. So imagine you have a phone, [00:01:00] it's like your brain and all of those applications, they need to operate with some sort of the of the structure.

Our mind is the same. So our subconscious mind is 95% of our life, only five to 10%. Is the logic. That's why you and many people, me too, sometimes find ourselves like, why am I doing that? Mm-hmm. Why am I anxious, worried, fearful, overwhelmed, stressed? That's because there is something in the subconscious mind that is in the conflict with the logic.

So if we think about mind, it needs to work like a clock, you know, like working together. Harmony and for people to have a better understanding. What is the subconscious mind? I love to use that metaphor. If anyone has been doing a horse [00:02:00] riding, they will definitely resonate with that. If you are riding a horse, a horse is much stronger than us humans.

That's a subconscious mind, so it's powerful, insatiable, super strong. Very primal, habitual, predictive. The rider is the conscious mind, and then the reins is the logic. So if you don't use your reins and you are not riding where the horse is gonna go. Mm-hmm. Where the habitual thing, they remember the apples, the carrots, the water, if they need to.

Same for us. We will, if we are not writing our subconscious mind and directing it where we want to go. It's gonna go where the 8-year-old us was running or use the strategist the same as 12-year-old US was using like pleasing or [00:03:00] perfectionism or you know, any other strategist that we understand that in adult life it doesn't help, but somehow our horse is still there.

So that's the great metaphor to understand that you consciousness, you use your logic. You use your, um, the power of your mind, the willpower, the power of the mind, the intention to direct your subconscious mind where it needs to go. I love how you explain that, that that makes it so simple.

But in my head, I'm like, well, okay, so who's running our show? If 5% is the conscious mind and 95 is the, I'm thinking the subconscious mind that we're not really understanding or tapping into, we probably don't have the reins on it that well, right. Yes. We just don't have the reins because unfortunately a lot of us haven't been taught how to work with our [00:04:00] mind.

We have been programmed or conditioned based on how our caregivers used to tell us what's right or wrong. So we are running that horse with the reins of our moms and dads and caregivers. Hmm. Not with our own intentions. And so that's why it's, the horse is gonna run where it believes there is a praise or validation on any unmet need.

It's going to run there. So in order to, to take that control back, we need to understand that horse. What does it want? What is their unresolved. That is now kind of controlling our life and we are driven by what we don't know because if we knew we would be doing something about it. And when people say, well, I know what's causing, for example, my stress, if you [00:05:00] know but you don't do anything, it means that you still don't know. I always tell that to myself whenever I find myself in a repeated pattern and I say, but I know what needs to be done. And then I say, Kate, you probably don't, you think you, you do, but it's still not on a deeper level. And that deeper level is that understanding, that deeper understanding of what we want.

And that's what a lot of people struggle with. They don't know. Yeah, about themselves and they don't know why the mind is doing that. And one little trick is the mind has couple of rules. Subconscious mind has rules, and by these rules it operates. And one of them is, it doesn't understand past, future, present.

It doesn't understand. 90 5% of our mind doesn't understand time. And it's supposed to be like that. [00:06:00] 'cause when you learned to read and write, that went into the unconscious mind as a habit. So you, it's, it's good, it's, it's effective, it's efficient, so that you read when you are 30, 25, 55, you still remember how to read.

It's not supposed to know time so that you can retrieve any habits, any information, just like it's happening right now. So that you are more efficient. But at the same time, it also takes away from the past everything that we don't need. Not only the reading or the writing or or driving a car or counting, but also the strategies, the patterns, the beliefs from the past as well.

And then another rule of the subconscious mind is it never forgets.

We might think we forgot some of the years of our life, but the body doesn't forget. It still remembers. Mm-hmm. And the [00:07:00] body is our subconscious mind. It is. If you, if people come to me and they say, my life is, is okay, it's great. I actually don't have that many problems. I was like, how is your health? I have an autoimmune disease and arthritis.

And then when I was 28 I was diagnosed with the stage one cancer and, but, but I got into remission and bubble and this and this and this and this and this. And I'm like, and how, why is your body just s talking so much to you if your life is so great? Mm-hmm. And he don't seem to have the problems, but there is still an unconscious programs that are running.

And if we don't listen to ourselves, the body has a very beautiful language. We chose the symptoms. Yeah. Yeah. That's if people understand that, okay, if I'm doing something and I don't want to do that anymore, then it means that subconscious [00:08:00] mind is running your life. Not you consciously choosing what you want, but he's still, the programming is running.

Your life. So that's a good way of understanding. If you address there's something that you don't like, it means that your mind is running on a programming, an old programming. And if you consciously make the change, then you kind of update. For example, people, uh, stop drinking cold Turkey, or people start to organize their home.

Understanding. Oh, that creates a bit of a peace in my mind. Right. And they start to change the habit right away in weeks, in days. It means that they're consciously choosing something differently outside. So what I'm hearing is that okay, we find the things we don't like, and I'm also kind of hearing there's like a loop, a pattern.

So like this subconscious mind keeps running it. And so maybe those things that we don't like, but [00:09:00] keep reappearing, like we can notice this pattern. Oh wait, it's, it's the, it's in there. So maybe it's my subconscious programming to retrain it. We have to go to our conscious mind to technically pull the rein.

It's on our horse. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So that, I mean, that sounds all easy. Oh, I'll just think about, organizing my home. But it's not that easy, right? Because deep in these programs, there's a lot of stuff, emotional stuff too. Um, belief systems and things that it's almost like a little bit of a fight sometimes between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind.

Like it doesn't feel right because it's such an innate program. So when you try to change it on a conscious level, it's hard, right? Yeah. So the subconscious mind needs to be trained. And if you know how to train it, right, of course it's much easier than if you don't know what to do with your subconscious mind.

However, [00:10:00] this is where the overwhelm comes in. So the every mom, I know that 'cause I'm the mom and that overwhelm comes in and we are like, why are we feeling that? Why are we feeling like we need to do it all? I. And there comes a different values that start to be in a conflict. So when we are kids, we make something important in order to survive. Validation, praise, uh, survival, basic right? Um, self-protection could be, um, perfectionism. It could be people pleasing, could be avoidance. We learn, we become, we make something really important.

My mom's praise or good grades or, uh, having a partner because without them we feel incomplete, right? We make something really important and that creates our basic value by which we are going to act and [00:11:00] behave. But at some point there comes moments in life and why people say midlife crisis, because that's the moment when it comes in.

When we are done, we are tired by running by the value that is not our own value. So that's where we understand. But I wanna have time for me, but ah, social expectations is not, it's not my value anymore. Family is my value or vice versa, for example, right? So it could be anything. So these values come into conflict.

You start to realize self-care or health is the value, but somehow making money is a bigger value. 'cause it's a survival, right? And so they become in our psyche, they go into conflict and that's what creates a lot of, what do I do? Uh, what decision do I make? Is that right or is that wrong? And with the amount of information right [00:12:00] now, with the amount of pressure of how we should be, of course it doesn't really help with the problem.

Mm-hmm. So in order to reprogram the subconscious mind first, a person needs to understand what are my values, not the values that was my mom's or my partner's. What is my value? And then it's easier to make decisions. It's easier to understand where that value was neglected, out of choice, out of options, that that's what the child had to do.

When did I, , trade it off my values? So values are, there are different ways how, how people can find, they can just find a comfortable quiet place and ask themselves what is actually important to me. Or they can read the list of the values and see, ah, this is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Community or contribution of value or creativity. There are no [00:13:00] bad or good values. They're all have a place to be in our life, so people need to define what is my value. It's so much easier than to address what is not working and to access, for example, a subconscious mind if something needs to be reprogrammed and rewired.

Hmm. And it can be done through meditation. It can be done through body work. People say of back pain. It can also tell them where that I'm not good enough, where I, I can't provide, or I have to be a good, good enough mom. Right? Where are, where are those beliefs are coming from and, and causing us so much stress.

So then they, it can be done through body work, meditations, hypnosis, self-reflection. So all of these ways are ways to access the subconscious mind to see where is that programming? Where do they make other people's opinions more important than my own joy and happiness. [00:14:00] So it's, it's not easy, but it's very simple.

Yes, it's not easy because it takes time. , However, sometimes people, shift the mind in, in a second. So people say, oh, it's so hard to change your mind. I was like, Hmm, I wouldn't say that. We have instances in our life where you believed something was true, and then one day you have a piece of information and you're like, oh, well that's completely does.

It's not what I thought. You change your mind and you go, but with a different information. It's the missing is information is the key to understand in your mind. There's something missing. The missing information. For example, an intern said, oh, it could be different. It doesn't have to be this way, the way I live.

It doesn't have to be stressful. There's another way to live, and so people sometimes just need a piece of information. We never know when is the right [00:15:00] time for a certain person for the change. I usually go by when it's too painful. And it's too painful. That's when people say like, oh, something needs to be changed.

Right. So that's, but I don't, I wouldn't say that it's really, really difficult. It's mostly just look and sampling, experimenting with different methods of healing or therapeutic work. Mm-hmm. Whether it's body or mind. Now, I know you use hypnotherapy.

So maybe tell us a little bit about your work and how that, works with people to retrain the subconscious mind. Yeah, usually the subconscious mind learns by three methods. So three methods you can use to to train your subconscious mind. One is by repetition. Repetition, right? You repeat, repeat, repeat a new pattern, just like building a habit until your mind builds new pathways.

If there is no significant blocks that are holding [00:16:00] you back and you're like ready to change, repetition is great. I. The repetition, which means you're, you're making the chef and you just repeat it, repeat it, repeat it. Subconscious mind can be trained by that. Another one is an insight. So sometimes we just need that little piece of information, like, ah, you know, that aha moment when people there have in their life, it's the amo, it's an unconscious shift that happens.

Oh, this is why. Oh, okay. And then people start to, you know how people wake up in the mornings? Like, I'm not drinking today, or, I'm not smoking, or I'm not letting anyone criticize me or something like that. Whatever, whatever they choose. Or, I'm gonna change my job today. So the, the sudden cold Turkey change, right.

That's an insight as well. It's a very sudden, because subconscious mind does, in no time, it's not subjected to our beliefs when our, the healing is gonna happen. [00:17:00] It's not 'cause it doesn't know time. Mm-hmm. So it doesn't matter. It's us who put our stories and narratives that we put and say, oh, you know, maybe in three months if you keep repeating to yourself that you're good enough, you are gonna be good enough.

No subconscious mind doesn't know. So just be curious. Sometimes one little piece of information, little uh, meaningful conversation with someone can elicit that change as well. So to be curious is. We, we, we can't say right, as a hypnotherapist, I can't say a word cure, right? Because we don't cure, right?

We help people understand themselves better, but cure comes from a word curiosity. So as you become curious about your body, become curious about your symptoms, not blameful, not criticizing, judging ourselves, but just curious what, how did my body adjust it and compensated. In a certain way that now I'm feeling this pain, right?

Then you have way better chance and having that insight unconscious [00:18:00] shift. And the third is by the pictures we create. And by the way, we talk to ourselves. So our inner language, the way we talk, we sometimes people say. I'm so kind like I'm, I'm, I'm kind to others. I was like, okay, what about yourself? Oh, I'm a bully to myself.

I'm a bully. I'm never good enough. Or I'm, I'm very mean to myself. Right? So the third way is changing the inner dialogue and create better pictures in the mind. That also creates a subconscious shift. And when I started to look for those methods and I was doing the talk therapy for myself, for my own problems and I was like, but we are just talking.

It's great. It's amazing. I feel so great. After the session, I was like, I got this. Yeah, I got this. And then couple of days later, boom, you drift into the familiar pattern because subconscious mind loves what's familiar and it [00:19:00] will reject everything that is unfamiliar. And so when the mind loves what's familiar, it's also believes that familiar is safety.

It's a comfort. It's what we know, even if that's the biggest pain. So that's the subconscious mind's rule as well. And I started to look for methods. How I, how, how can we access, what can we do with the subconscious mind so that. Faster. Faster. It doesn't have to be a long treatment. It doesn't have to be five, 10 years in therapy.

Why do we need to spend so many years in therapy and then it's, it's a lot of time, it's a lot of commitment. It's regrassing yourself back. Mulling over. I, I know that clients, like some of my clients who have been in therapy for 10 years, they are therapists themselves. There are now like experts in all the ways their mind found these beliefs or whatever.

Right? They are. They're so good at that, but they still [00:20:00] don't see the chef that they would love to see. And that's when I came across RTT Hypnotherapy. It was random. I didn't know what it is. When I signed up for the training, I just wanted the hypnotherapy 'cause I knew it's the work on the subconscious mind.

But as I dive deeper. I was like, wow. Yes, exactly. This is such a great tool to help people. And as I practiced it more, I realized, wow, such a comprehensive method. 'cause you go on a journey to find the root cause. Mm-hmm. The root cause of the belief that is around in your life. It's either you running your life or your beliefs are running in your life.

So we get to choose. That's, that's how I got into hypnotherapy and that's how I saw that. It's not what I thought it would be. I thought about hypnosis. It's something like an entertainment hypnosis, a hypnotist that come to the shows and, and they make, and give you the suggestions and show you how suggestible you are and you can do things that [00:21:00] you maybe didn't even agree to.

Therapeutic hypnosis. It's that work on the subconscious programming, closing those applications, oh, this is not important. Okay, that's not even relevant anymore. That's not even age appropriate anymore. You know, like really erasing all of those programs so that the mind can operate and more with more peace.

Oh, I love that. I like how you put it almost like this shut down computer. Like, we get rid of that, let's delete or shut it down. Can you tell us a little bit more like how a session I, I'm not that familiar with hypnotherapy or have experienced this session. How does it work? What would people expect?

Yeah. Usually I tell people that they will remember everything that is happening in a session. They're not asleep. Not drifting away, floating in the sky of the universe. They're not. It's a, it's a light relaxed state. Just like when we are [00:22:00] tired and we are just putting our hat on the pillow, we still are not asleep, but we are like, finally, it's the end of the day.

Right. So just that light relaxed state, but still very conscious. Mm-hmm. And so when we go, they come to me usually for a two hour session. The first 15 minutes, we talk about the intentions, what do you want to achieve from the session? So they tell me like, this is what, this is what I want.

This is what's not working. I. And then we go into the session, a couple of minutes of relaxation, just getting into that soft, relaxed state. Sometimes people are very aware, very conscious, especially people with deep trauma with OCD, they, they love to be in control, so they, they sometimes can even close their eyes and it's completely fine.

They just look into one spot and that's enough. And then we go into memories, events, or scene that could become. And became the root cause of their issues. So we kinda do like a little investigation. And I'm telling that you [00:23:00] are becoming like a, like a detective of your life.

And so they, they love it. They're like, oh my God, I'm, I'm a detective, you know, of my own life. We go and explore where did they make that decision about themselves? Could be in the early age, you know, for some people, people go to the womb, even. They're like, I'm not wanted. And so that on the primal level of development, right?

We have that tension in our body that we can't even explain why, why? It's nothing really happened during my childhood, for example. But we go explore and then I help them see the, the connection. Mm-hmm. So every time right now you are stressed or anxious or you have panic attack, here is what your mind is still thinking.

This is what's still running. This is the program that is still running, but what do you know now that you didn't know at eight or at 18 or at 15? And they [00:24:00] say, oh, I'm free now. Like I'm not a dependent child. So they kind of have an insight like, yeah, that was age appropriate. I had no choice, but I have choice right now.

And then we go into the healing. The healing part is mostly like changing the perspective on their past. Hm. Changing the perspective on those strategies, asking the role and the function and the purpose and intention of the problem. I ask them like, Hey, let's, let's find out what it's still doing for you.

And they love it. They love that, oh, it's a punishing part, or it's a, it's a protective part. Or maybe this part brings me attention. That's one of the hardest one to admit for for clients, right? So that's, that's how we work in a session and after they feel the release and we do the healing, that's when I record them their own 15 minutes self hypnosis meditation.

They love it because it's their support for the next three, four weeks. [00:25:00] Then, so we did the insight in a session, one way of changing the subconscious mind, and then they listened to the recording. We said Repetition, which is another way of subconscious programming, and they repeat and they listen to that.

They love it. It's about them. It's positive. It's everything that came out in a session, but in a good way. So they listened, listened, listen until it kind of integrates on a deeper level until my voice is kind of in their head. It's like I have phenomenal coping skills. Yes, I have a right to say no.

Mm-hmm. I don't have to do this. I can do this, you know, I don't have to do, and, and that's, it's what I've noticed When moms come to me, the one thing that I hear, it's just too much. One thing that is, it's just too much. It's too much. I, I don't have a connection with my kids because I'm always running, doing something right or.

I'm [00:26:00] disconnected from myself. It feels like I'm, who am I in this family? You know? So it's too much. I always hear it's too much. I'm just too in. I'm just too overwhelmed. I don't know how to say no, or I'm just driving my mind crazy by all the checklists. So they come to me with these strategies and they realize that, oh, I was eight, for example, or I was 18, or I was 21.

Or I was 15. Yeah, of course I didn't have any other choice but to make things a priority that I need to be good enough. I need to be perfect. I need to be one of the best, but I don't have a condition to my worst anymore. Like Mom is not here, you know, in my home, you know, dad is not here. My coach or my teacher or my best friend who used to like, criticize or bully me, for example, right?

They're not here. Like life is so different now. And so we, they love that repetition that [00:27:00] inside. And then by repetition of their self hypnosis meditation, they create better picture. That's the work on the subconscious mind. Yeah. So how long, it sounds like a, a lot happens in that two hours, and that I love the. Take home exercises that they can do by listening to this over and over again. The repetition. But how long does it actually take? Because like, you're right, people go to therapy, the talk therapy for, I mean, years, I mean 10, 15, 20 years even. They're still working on stuff and that core piece isn't always gone.

So how long does this work take, do you find to shift and change? With the panic attacks, I love to handle it in one sessions with clients if they're willing and they're like, yes, I, I'm willing to work on it. Right. If we kind of, if there is no secondary benefit to the panic attacks Right. Which could be happening Right.

One session and the reprogramming really helps them to be so [00:28:00] aware of what would, what was causing panic attacks. That they're like, I can still get anxious, but I don't get a panic attack. Which is a huge shift depending that they worked on the panic attacks for years. Right. Uh, something like depression, eating disorders.

They could take three, three sessions for sure. To see, to see the significant, because it's a two hour session and a two hour session. We do years of therapy years. Right. Yeah. So it doesn't mean that they will not need. Therapy. Mm-hmm. It's just the therapy becomes so much more efficient. Yes, yes. Because you come into the session like, you know what, I know what I, I know what was causing the anxiety.

You know? That's what was causing the anxiety. And then the, uh, the therapist can even help. They will be happy, therapist will be happy to like, oh my God, I, I see the difference. That's so fulfilling as well for, for helping professions. [00:29:00] Right. So they will, they will need if they want to, but once you learn the root cause, do you need to know it again?

Mm-hmm. If you know that all, most of your strategies in life where from feeling not smart enough, that's why I was taking 2,500 certifications or signing up for all the courses possible. And still didn't feel good, and still didn't feel smart enough. If you rewire that, believe, if you understand where it's coming from, if you understand that you're such a unique person, that there is no notion of smartness,

it's so different and diverse that there is no need to compare yourself. Who's smarter, who is not, that people feel so much more at peace. I was like, oh, finally there's no one like me. You know? So why would I compare myself to others? Right? So once they understand, it's, it's, it can be very sudden. It can be very fast.

It [00:30:00] doesn't, therapy doesn't have to take long because. You have a life to live. Mm-hmm. We don't wanna live a therapy life. Yeah. The body is pretty miraculous, right in its healing power and it's almost like this retraining of that subconscious mind gives it more flexibility so that when something happens, you're right, life happens. You're, we're always gonna be thrown a curve ball, but will have more flexibility within our body to receive it and then come back versus being so stuck in our way.

Yeah. I love it, Lisa, this is so true. I love the word flexible. Mm-hmm. The more flexible your subconscious mind, which means that it's like prone to different perspectives, you know? And by the way, flexibility of the body also trains the mind to be more flexible. So when people say, oh, should I do stretching?

Yes. Should I do moving? Yes. [00:31:00] So stretching, right? The more you stretch, the more you release, right? Some sort of, uh, triggers, you know, tensions, some knots that were there. So it really helps with making,, your brain more dynamic, more flexible. Yeah, so I love that word. Yeah.

Now. Is there something that people that are home and listening to this podcast can just start doing that would maybe change a little bit of their subconscious thoughts? Yes, absolutely. Subconscious mind doesn't like change. So any change that you might make in your life, for example, put in your couch in a different place, starting to eat with another hand just for fun.

So you train your body for change. You used to sit in one spot in the morning having your morning coffee. Go sit down in a different way. It might, you will even feel a frustration. Like a frustration. [00:32:00] It's like, I don't like that. I like that. So that you will know that your subconscious mind, any resistance is the subconscious mind doesn't like change, right?

The more rigid the mind is, the more rigid we are in our routine as well, right?

It's good to have a routine, for example, brushing our teeth, right? Or, um, running if people do or working out. This is amazing routine, but even that sometimes requires a little bit of a shift in, in playing around. Play with your habits and so that, that way, without even working on your subconscious mind specifically, for example, in hypnotherapy, you can already train your mind like, Hey, things are not permanent.

Things can change anyway. You get so used to the change. So start doing with simple things, you know, things that have been there for a long time. Put it in a different place. Do a declutter. Declutter in the house is declutter in the mind. Yes. [00:33:00] Subconscious mind never forgets. It holds the space for every item you have in your home.

Can you imagine? 'cause every item, if I ask you, where is that brush? You're like, da, da da da. And it's there, right? So, so the more, the less stuff you have in the hope, the less storage you need to have in your brain, which also helps. It was overwhelmed and creates more simple life. So there are so many different ways how we can train our mind for change.

. Yeah. This is so great. , Where can the listeners find you? Yes, so they can find me on my website, kates.com. They can, uh, watch my YouTube videos. I have lots, I have two YouTube channels so they can find different fears, anxieties, you know, problems that they're dealing with and they can see is there any other perspective that can help them change their mind.

And also they, there is a free course on my website. Start [00:34:00] Feeling again. It's about observing your thoughts, observing your emotions. Your body. So it's a wonderful seven class course that really kind of gets into the subconscious mind as well. Helps you understand your mind better. It's an intro course.

Wonderful. And they can also sign up for the anti-anxiety course that I'm starting soon, actually next week, so they can join me for the program where we actually. Resolve the roots and causes of it. Yeah. Nice. Now, do you do one-on-one sessions or do you do just group sessions? How does that work? Yes, I do one-on-one Zoom or online or in person.

I'm taking people here at my home office and in Calgary, or we can do the Zoom session. I haven't seen every big difference. I love in-person sessions, but Zoom as well creates a safer place for clients where they don't have to really. Come that much of a comfort zone out outside of a comfort zone. So yeah, they can contact me, book a consultation.

I do [00:35:00] offer free consultation that they can, they can, we can see if we align with what we want to give each other. Yeah. Well thank you so much for talking to us today. Oh, it was such great information and the way you explain the subconscious mind makes it just so much easier to understand. So , thank you so much.

Thank you, Lisa. It was really great. I hope that will be valuable for people to, to release some of the pressure.

Thank you for joining us for this episode. Kate is so enthusiastic about this work. I can't wait to dive into it even deeper into my own subconscious mind and thoughts. I'm going to definitely check out her free course that she has on her website. So just click on the link in the show notes

to learn more about Kate and everything she offers end. . Until next week, keep carving out time for yourself and keep putting yourself on top of your to-do list. [00:36:00] I.