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Feb. 1, 2022

Achieving Balance


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In this week’s episode, we discuss the challenges of achieving work/life balance. Join me and my good friend, Celia St. Amant a working mother of two young teens as we discuss ways to address our personal and independent needs as mothers against the ever-increasing list of responsibilities (and demands) from our growing children. And please visit the Real Life Momz Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/reallifemomz/ The group serves as a resource for you - a place to pose your suggestions and questions and experiences to our growing community of Momz :) And don't forget to follow Real Life Momz, so you don't miss an episode.

Resources:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey,  to purchase: https://amzn.to/3IQsWnX

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Transcript

Welcome to Real Life Momz. I'm your host, Lisa Foster, and Real Life Momz is a podcast. That's all about real conversations and real-life issues that parents deal with every day. Our mission is to connect moms by talking about these topics and to continue those conversations through our Real Life Momz Facebook group, where we would love for you to become part of our community. Today, I'll be talking with my good friend, Celia, on a topic. I find that I'm personally struggling with, and that is life balance.

Hi.

Hi Lisa.

Welcome to Real Life Momz. I'm so glad that you were able to come on the show today. Thank you for having me, you know, today we are going to talk about life balance and just balancing all the things that are on our plate. So I'm really hoping that you can help me with this because I am totally struggling with this in my life. I don't know about you. Daily, daily. Good. Yeah. See, at least, you know, that makes me feel better already because then I'm not alone, right? No, you are not alone. I know. It's like so hard. I feel like if I look at my day, it should be perfect, right? Like I have this amount of time for my family and this amount of time for work. And then, oh, I can maybe go exercise or something. Right. And everything should be perfectly balanced, but that like never happens in my life. I don't know.

No. Um, I would completely agree with that. I, I go to bed every night with a clear plan of what my next day should be. And inevitably the morning just gets off to the wrong start. Something happens at work that evening plan. Nobody likes the dinner, then there's homework that we weren't expecting. Or I, yeah, it just never goes according to plan. Oh no. I'm almost thinking maybe why are we even planning? Right. Because I put, I put a plan, I get up in the morning and I write, I that's one of my things every morning, you know, me, I'm up at like 5:00 AM. Right. I get my two hours of self-time. That's how I get it in before anyone wakes up. And I sit there and I do my meditation for 10 minutes. That's all I have, but it works. And then I write my plan like this is going to happen for the day. And you're right. Like other things just kind of either take over that plan. Right. Or something else comes into the plan. And I have too much work or kids, all of a sudden has something on their plate that I didn't even know about. Right. Oh, I have to be picked up at this time. I'm like, what, what was that? That's all on my plan. And then there goes the plan. So maybe, maybe that's number one. Maybe like, should we throw out the plan? I don't know if I could throw out the plan. Cause I like you love a to-do list and a plan. I think where I run into problems is, um, I have overly ambitious plans. Yes. Where I think I can conquer way more than I can in a given day. Um, and I think what I've learned with going back to work is something's got to give on a daily basis. At least for me, we're not everything is to the standard that I would like. And I just have come to realize that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and, and you've done both, right? You've been a stay-at-home mom. Right? So you have that perspective and then you also are now a full-time working mom and you have that perspective. 

 

So what have you learned? I have learned, well, one, I would like to tell my non-working self, are you kidding me? That you can't get through your to-do list? Because boy did. I have a lot of free time. I mean, not a lot, but certainly when your kids are in school, you have those hours. And if I could get even one day with those hours a week, now that I'm working, I can't even tell you how much I could get done. I don't like kick yourself that hard because I feel like, oh my, they at home mom, friends, they are the busiest moms. I feel like because they take on things that maybe someone like me who's working. I know I don't have time to take on. So I immediately just say, no, I'm not going to do that. Right. But I feel like the people who have more time, take on more. So, I mean, it wasn't like you, weren't busy.

I think I feel like because you're home and your full-time job is being a mom that you need to volunteer for everything that you need to bring food to everything. And I think the, at least for me, when I was home, the bar of like what my meals were, how clean my house was, all that stuff. I had a higher standard for because it was my job right now. That is only part of what I do. I don't hold myself to that high of a standard. So that part has been really good about going back to work because you let things, I think we talked about this years ago, like I was like, well, doesn't that bother you? Or how do you do that? You're like, I clean one day a week period. You know, I'm not home all day. Like I remember I where like if you're a stay-at-home mom and you're home and you're seeing that mess, that's hard to deal with, but if you're at work and you're not home, it doesn't bother you. It's you're not even there.  No, exactly. I've enjoyed that aspect. I mean, I've actually really enjoyed being back at work. I still have those moments of like, oh gosh, you know, especially when one of my kids is having a problem, like, would they be having this problem if I was home? But the reality is I have a, you know, son in middle school, a daughter in high school, and they are gone from eight until like 3:30 - 4 every day. So I don't know what I would be, how I could be helping them in the time that they're at school. Right. Exactly. They would, the answer is they would still have those problems and when they come home, you're still there for them.

Right. Exactly. Yeah. And it's, it's finding the balance too, for that bounces our theme, making sure that you still have those internal resources to be there and be present when you're with your kids in the evening.

It comes down to that quality time and when you're spending with your kid, because yeah, maybe it's not as much time as I had before, but you know, I really try to give my full attention. You know, I go into their room at night, we'll just sit and chat. That's a good time with older kids. Is that nighttime when they're in their beds, that is such, at least my kids to love it.

Yeah. And it is. And, and it's really quality time. So I mean, I leave there and I'm, I'm personally fulfilled and I hope that they are as well fulfilled, you know, with that time, even though it's not as much time as if I would've had all day with them, they're in school anyway.  And I think as your kids go through different periods and different ages, that quality time looks different. Right? Like when they were young, it could have been giving them a bath and playing with them in the tub or not, you know, you're outside of the tub, but playing versus like, you know, a teenage daughter, sometimes she just needs you to listen. Right. So it's just, it changes over time just for people who are listening that don't necessarily have the same age kids. Yeah.

Yeah. It does. It totally changes over time. Um, and how much they need from you also. And what I'm finding is like, I'll come home in the evening after work and like nobody's around, you know like they're either upstairs doing their homework or chatting on the phone or whatever they're doing and I'm alone. And I don't feel like I make the best of that time. Honestly. Like I feel like that that is a quality time that I don't really use, I just come home and then I'm like, well, where is everybody? You know, my, my sister has two kids that are now in college. She's an empty nester. What she has told me is as they get older and older, they are they're around less and less. So don't, don't wait until they're gone to start filling your life with other things that are interesting. That's a big topic actually for me, like, what am I going to do? Cause now that there's a little bit more of that space, um, what are my hobbies? You know, what do I enjoy doing? And that's been really hard for me. I don't, I don't really know. Um, yes, you have your work. You, you have time for your kids and making quality time for them, but then there's this other piece of you. And, and it's interesting. It reminds me of this like story. Like someone once said to me, it still haunts me to this day. Actually. She said, okay, well, if you work and you're a mom, like, what are you giving up? You know, what are you giving up? You must like, not cook. You must bring in food or, you know, not clean your house. It has to be something that you're giving up. And I was like, I'm perfect. There's nothing I'm giving up. But like, actually, as I'm sitting down, I was thinking about this podcast. Like it haunted me again, like those words, I was like, oh my God, what do I give up? And I give up me, that's what I give up. I give up my hobbies, what I enjoy doing. I don't even know what they are anymore, honestly Because you can completely lose yourself in child-rearing and your job. I mean, that can eat up all your time really. And then you're just tired. Right? So sleep is my hobby. My hobby is sleeping, probably going to bed, you know? Oh, it was, it was interesting for me because, um, before I got the job that I have now, I had been laid off from my previous job and the COVID hit, I was laid off because of COVID and I was home a lot. And for me, I realized that I just love and like this to Lisa, I know you are, um, like creative projects. Like I did a garden, I made something for the back porch, a little table. I made a sign and it was so amazing to like, make things, oh gosh. You know, I think I did use to love to do this kind of stuff. And so I, it was a period of time that was really fulfilling for me personally. And now it's gone again because. Yeah, I was going to say, can you add it? So how can you add that in, I guess that's where we need to balance. Like, how can we add that back in? So it sounds like for me, and maybe for you as well, that we've got the work down, right? Cause those are set hours. You kind of, I mean, we both work at jobs that are pretty much set hours. Um, and then we were really good about taking care of our kids were really good about showing up and being there. I really feel like I am, um, the two places I am lacking, I know is that hobbies? How can I fit that in? And my husband, I don't know.  I'm going to say I wondered. Yes, because that their piece, let's not forget that other person in your family. Oh, and your pets, but.

Yeah, my pets, I do have lots of pets, but, um, I do, I did actually, I did just figure out getting their walks in certain days. I go in a little later and so I just started that. So I'm going to check pet off my list, but yeah. Husband and just self are yeah. Figuring out. So yeah. How are you going to get your tables made and where, where can you do that? Um, I don't know because I'm really struggling with that. I do miss it. Um, I mean, I can't even figure out how to get exercise in, but I just ordered a bike and I'm hoping I can get up early and do that. But I think I default to, if I have the time, I need to be giving that to someone in my family, whether it's my husband or my children. Um, but I, I do not promote this idea because I think without taking care of yourself, your whole family suffers. We're kind of the head of the household. We set the tone and if we're not taking care of ourselves in whatever that looks like for you, then I think you're actually doing a disservice to your family. I can say these words and I understand it from a logical point of view, but I I'm having a hard time doing it. 

Yeah, yeah. I'm having the same, the same struggle. You know, I recently read something, it did talk about balance and it, and it said, you know, balance isn't necessarily like a day-to-day thing. Right? Because there are days that I have so much extra work and I am like bringing home notes and I, and I am doing extra work at home and trying to figure it out and get it done. And then there are other days that his family is very heavy-handed. Like the kids are really, really needing me and I have to drive this one out to wherever this one has competition here. And I'm like supporting this there. And I'm doing all this stuff just for the kids. Right. Um, but nothing really for work because I had to do all this for someone else. Right. The kids or whatever. So, I mean, maybe we're like looking at balance wrong, right.

Because maybe balance isn't like this perfect day today where I had this part of the day for each thing. But maybe balance is really over a week, over a month, you know? Um, and, and giving ourselves a little bit more of that space to say, great, I do want to exercise. I do want to make a table. Um, I do want to have a date with my husband now, is that going to happen every day? Probably not. But is that, is that okay? Yeah, because you know what, today I spent all day with my daughter who really needed me. Um, yesterday I had to do extra work and I stayed really late at work.

But the day before I was, you know, going out for a nice hike all by myself. So maybe looking at a bigger, broader picture of what balance could be, and maybe that's more doable than just the day-to-day trying to fit everything in these to-do lists that we don't get done. 

I love that idea. And it's much more giving and kind to ourselves to look at it that way. Right. Versus judging ourselves on a day-to-day basis because that's no good. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Maybe looking at your calendar and saying that was the other thing. And then I read something else. Look at me. I'm a, I'm a reader all the time. I'm actually an audio reader. I don't actually read things. I listen. But, um, but anyway, there was this other thing that looked at, cause you talked about to-do lists, right? This was actually the seven habits of highly effective people,  Right, right. I, yeah. I still like, I keep relistening to it because you know, you're supposed to absorb so much from it, but like you can't like, I'm just going to keep listening to it.

And then one day something sticks. But I did stack, um, they were saying about your to-do lists, you know, you go in and you write these to-do lists and evidently, you can't do everything because it's too much.

Um, and then you don't feel so good about it. But what they're saying is once again, look at it as a week, right. Look at as a week of what you need to do. And then also prioritize like really prioritize the things that, um, are important to you. And what's a must-do and what's a want to do, right. Because they, what they're saying is actually if it's important and you want to do it, that should actually be high on the list. So really scheduling in those, those important things that you want to do, because those are the things that we never get to. Those are the tables we don't make. Those are the friends that we don't meet. Right. Because inevitably we like, oh, but I have to, you know, bake cookies for this, you know, fakes it, which I don't do. So I don't know why I would put it on my must.

You know, I'm a buyer, I'm a buyer because I don't, I can't, I can't do that, but that's okay. I'm going to own up to that. Um, but yeah, but inevitably there, there are these important things that maybe, you know, this is due and I have to do this, but it's not a want. Right. And then you end up for instance, right. I, we had a friend who had a baby and like, you know, two months go by and we still have not seen this baby. And they did ask us to come multiple times. Every weekend would happen. We would say, oh, should we go? But other little things come in. Things that aren't even in time or seeing my friend's baby should be up there and we wanted to do it. So finally, after reading this book, I said, oh, wait, we need to schedule it, pick a day, and put it on the calendar. Because now it's like, now it's like, I ha I can do it. I need to do it. It's on my to-do list. And we did it and it was great, but we never would have done it if we just didn't schedule that in. So scheduling until. Scheduling and things. And I think you're like me, if I commit to something or schedule it, I follow through period. I'm glad that you finally did that. Did it feel good to do that? 

Yeah, we had so much fun. It was so nice to have something on my list to do that. Wasn't like a half, right?  Like you want it to. 

Yeah. And, and I think when we always put those half days on our lists, literally living in like crisis mode, because we're only getting the things done that we like literally have to do when we have to do now. Right. It's not, it's not the wants. And, and that, that doesn't feel like balance. That's like always just keeping your head above water. Right, right.

You're treading water. But I don't know if you're like this though. I, I don't have a lot of social things coming up during the week, but periodically it's someone's birthday or there's a ladies' night or this or that. And I have to say, I always am like, oh, like, I can't, I don't want to go out tonight. I can't believe I said yes to this. Like, I'm just tired. I just want to be here. And then, because I've said I was going, of course, I go, um, and then I have a wonderful time. I feel refueled. I'm so happy. I went yet. The next time this comes a similar situation comes up. I feel the same exact like, oh God, I don't want to go.  Oh no, I feel the same way now. I totally get that. I feel the same way. It's the strangest thing. Why is that though? We deserve to go out. We know we have fun lifts. We're out. I don't get it. I mean, for me, I think I'm, I'm like literally just exhausted. Right. And adding this extra piece is just, it's just exhausting. Right. And, and, and you're right.

 Yeah. Absolutely. Exhausting. Yes. Yeah. Sometimes there's guilt. I feel like sometimes there's guilt. I don't know if you feel like this with working. Um, a lot of times I might be working all day, so I'm not home. Right. I'm not home. And then I go straight out and. Haven't seen them all day.

And I haven't seen anyone all day. And I do feel that's a lot of guilt from not seeing my family and being at work all day. That bothers me. And I think that's part of the reason I feel guilt, but once I'm out, I, I am, I'm fine. I'm happy. It's it's needed. I'm a better person. You know, there's, there's so much positive that comes out of going. But yeah, I'm, I guess the last thing I want to do is actually physically go

Right. And I, I feel like if I were to, to go, you know what, this weekend I'm buying wood and I'm going to frame that beer. That's been sitting in my family room forever. Um, I would feel really good if I did that, but why don't I go and do it? I don't know, because someone always needs me or I feel like I should be doing other things to circle back on that to-do list. It's hard. It's really hard. But yeah, I think, I think that's what I'm going to, I'm going to focus on myself. I think I'm going to start looking at not just one day, but I'm going to start with a week. Cause I think a week is manageable. Right. Looking at a week for me. I think my goal is really, I do want to add exercise back and that seemed to have gone. I'm not sure where, but it's gone away and it's important to me because I think mentally it really does help me. Oh, absolutely. Yup. So.I think that's, my goal is to add in even just starting with twice a week, putting in some sort of workout routine, that's just, you know, that's what I do. That's the time I do it, you know? And it makes sense. I know I've, I've been struggling with that particular piece because I've been back at work full-time for over a year and I keep waiting for it to click in some time I'm going to do it. And when I think about like joining a gym and I calculate getting dressed, driving to the gym, working out, you know, getting into the class, working out, coming out, getting in my car, coming back, changing. It's too much time. It's just too much time. And I know you have a home gym area and that's why I was like, I need to get a bike and just do it here because I'm not willing to give up all those extra minutes. It's just not going to happen for me. I just know myself well enough. So I'm hopeful that perhaps having something here and I like your idea of scheduling it. Yeah. And I think that the home thing, I mean, for me, like having a bike or a treadmill or something at home is important because for me, I feel guilty when I'm out of the house, if everybody's in the house, right. So if I come home from work and then you were to leave and then leave to go to the gym, I'll go straight from the gym. Now I'm not home until like what nine o'clock, whatever time it is. But if I'm finally able to come home and hang out and then I'll go in down to the basement, you know, the kids know where I am. My husband is Exactly multitasking.

So I mean, then I have less guilt. So I personally do like having something in the house that I, you know, for me for working out so that I don't feel that guilt of leaving. Although I have to say the multitasking thing as much as that's like awesome. And I love multitasking. They do say that multitasking is like doing two things badly. Right. Because you're not paying, hopefully, you're not committed to either one. So I'm on, I'm on a hundred, I think in that case, it'll be fine. Right. Cause you're not, you know, you're just working out, you can talk and work out. But, um, but maybe for some other things, maybe not so good. Um, my, my husband and I just met with my daughter's therapist recently and she was talking about, um, being present, being fully present. That is something that I think my husband and I could both improve on when we are together with our family. And for us, one of the things that I think is going to help us moving forward is to get the screens out of the picture when we're trying to have quality family time so that we can, or my husband and I can be present.

We're not fully there when we're there. Yeah. Because I think nowadays when you have your work email on your phone and if you're checking your regular email, you see, oh, there's an email from work. All right. Let me just quickly respond to that. Like, no, I shouldn't even be checking my phone. Like I supposed to be like listening to my kids and looking at my kids. And what kind of example are we setting? It's really given me pause. Like, am I,.

That is, that is so key. And I kind of revisit that concept all the time for myself because I needed all the time, especially because you know, my jobs, I worked more than one. Right. I feel like I'm constantly, I could be at one job and feel like the need to check, oh my gosh, my private practice patients calling me, uh, do I, you know, I need to respond to this or, or be at my other job or a dinner even and say, oh, what's my schedule look like tomorrow at the hospital, you know, like I'm constantly feeling that I have to check things and I've been really trying to say that, okay, these are my hours, like giving myself like mental hours even, you know, at home to say, okay, I, if I have a patient who wants to get in, they, well, I can check it during these times only so that everybody gets responded.

You know, someone leaves me a message they'll hear from me within 24 hours, but it may be during those times so that I'm not always doing it. And I have to revisit that all the time because you know, you want to just call that person back. Well, you want to just check that email and see if they responded or, you know, and at the end of the day that that's not good. Right? Ever, you're never shutting that world off. Right. It's always lurking. And then coming back to that fully present idea to be present for your kids or your husband, if you can't be, if you're not, if you're half of you is checked out or you're worried about this, or you're checking that I, I hate technology for that reason. I know it was funny. My husband used to work with a guy. They all worked at this agency where everybody worked crazy hours. Um, but he had a work phone, now work, bought them their phones and pay for their phones.  But he had got, went out and got his own personal phone. And when he wasn't working, he was, he didn't even bring his work phone, whereas everybody else you knew you could reach them out. And so I loved that idea and everyone knew that about him. It was like, oh, well, yeah, but how many people do that? But like, is there something comparable to that, like a whole nother phone, but I love that idea where it really is two separate work and personal

Separate. I love that idea of really being able to really separate from work stuff and not check that stuff. I'm going to try to really, I'm going to put that in my to-do list for the week where I'm really just scheduling real-time to say, I'm only checking work stuff at these times, and that is it. And I'm going to try to really stick to that because I think that's important. I have a question for you. Okay. So I'm, I'm pretty regimented in the morning I had my, I had my morning routine set and that is my personal time as we talked about, I mean, I do a lot of work during the time.

Like I get up early that 5:00 AM. I do all my personal stuff, meditation, all that stuff. But I also get ready for the day. Um, you know, I get my, see what my schedule is going to be. I get it, I make sure the kids have what they need. You know, if there's lunches or anything that they need, it's all being done. Everything has its place and it has its time. And I need to have it done by certain times. Inevitably my husband will come in and you know, he comes in and he wants to talk. And it's my, you know, this is, this is my sacred. Like I am up at 5:00 AM. I got up at five. I deserve this time. I feel like from 5:00 AM to six 30 is my time. And I feel bad. And it used to be that nobody else was up. So it wasn't a problem. But lately, there are other members waking up, so my husband will wake up and then he'll call me and he'll, you know, he'll say, Hey, you know, he's sick. Can we touch base about the day? And I'm like, well, it's six, 15. I have 15 more minutes to get my lunches. But you know, like, I feel like I do say that I still need the time, but I feel bad because then I haven't really scheduled time for him at all in the morning because then the kids wake up, and then it's all this stuff.

And yeah. What about that? Because that's my space.

Yeah. I can see why you want a guard that yeah I do. And once again, there's the guilt, the guilt of not sitting and having that cup of coffee with my husband. Um, but it's, it's such a personal time and space, but yeah,.

I am jealous because, okay. So my husband and I do have coffee in the morning and it can be anywhere from five minutes to like 20 minutes, depending on when we get up and whether I have to wash my hair, believe it or not like that adds time. Um, but so I, I feel like check on that because we do talk about our kids and our day and what not going on, but what I don't have is literally any time to myself by myself effort.

Yeah. And that has been the hardest thing about going back to work never, ever, ever being alone.  So do you, are you a late-night person?

Cause you're not, I don't, I don't peak in the morning or the evening. If I know, I've always told people that, as they say, are you a morning or night or something like neither. I like, like to get up really? And I like to go to bed early. Yeah. So what do you do during lunch at work?

If on a good day I will go and that's true. Okay. I will go when the weather's good. Go for a walk after lunch by myself. Yeah. That's like 20 minutes. Yeah. It's not a lot. It's not a lot, but it is something, I mean, you could do a lunchtime by yourself because it is quiet time if nobody's bothering you. Um, yeah. So yeah, that, it's not enough and you'll, you'll need to work on that, but  Yeah. For you, I would still guard that time. And maybe if you can give 10 minutes

That's what I was thinking. That's what I was thinking actually, as you were talking because it's like you listening to you have coffee with your husband. Well, that sounds just lovely. Does it mean it really does. It sounds lovely. I love my husband. He's a great guy. Yeah. So I really enjoy that part of my morning. And it's sort of calm before. Not always a storm, but the calm before the day starts. Sometimes. I think I'm just so structured with time in the morning. Like literally I'm like six 15, I'm doing this six 30. I have to have this done, but maybe I can ask him. I made this might be a little OCD of me, but I can ask my husband. Do you like to. Be scheduled

Schedule you at six 30 to 6 45? Because you're an important once. You're an important want that I want on my to-do list.

Yes. But please know, do not show up early for your appointment. Yes.

But I think, yes, you should do that. I think I should do that. I think he would appreciate that. You know, it's all about communication and making time and it's true. They do say that if you have 15 quality minutes with somebody where you're really paying attention and present and in the moment that it feels like hours, right. Cause it really being heard. So I'm going to start that I'm starting that tomorrow is I'm writing it down right now.

Good for you. Good for you. And I'm going to try and schedule time to just do my mirror, add my woods, my mirror. And other projects eventually

But just feed my creative soul who I do not get that. Yeah.

All right. So let's, let's try to, let's try to see what we, what we learned today.

Okay. Yes. We did. I think we learned a lot, actually. I think a right. We learned that balance doesn't necessarily mean equal parts every day. Right. I think I love that idea. I really haven't thought of it that way. Broadening the scope, broadening the view. Yeah. Making it, yeah. Making it out to a week or so. And we can spread ourselves out a little bit more. Yeah. I love that too. That really works. I think I've learned and I, from you that I'm not the only one struggling with this, so. Yeah. That makes me feel better. Yeah, totally. That makes me feel better too. It's nice to always know that you're not alone. And I think you don't have to be a mom, you know, or a parent who has struggled with balance. I think in life, if you look at everybody, right. Whether you're a college student or a teenager, I think we're all struggling with balance, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I think we also learned that part of the balance equation is taking care of ourselves. 

Right? Yeah. And, and to do the things, the important things that you want to do, and scheduling those. Right. Because we do the, we do the half days, but we don't always do the important things that we want to do. Yeah. So that those are good. And I also think that I am going to start tomorrow. I'm going to have put in, I'm going to do my 15 minutes with my husband and I'm going to really be excited about that. And he's going to be excited about that. And I'm going to add my working out right away to my two days this week. That's what I'm going to do. Perfect. I, my bike comes next week, so I will be doing that, trying to get exercise in. And I think the thing I tend to do with exercise is think, okay, now I need to do it five days a week, like two days a week, just try for two days a week balance.

Right. It's not like all or nothing. Five days is not balanced. That seems heavy-handed on one side. And then I wonder why I'm not successful. Right. Yeah. Right. Because it's not balanced. It's not all go from zero to five. Right. Exactly. Yeah. So I think that that is great to start with. I think we might have to recap in a few weeks and see how we did, how we did. Yeah. We did maybe one that Facebook group posts if we're still doing what we're doing and let everybody know.

And, hopefully, the listeners will think about a few things that they can do to help balance their lesson share. Please share. We can, we definitely always need the help. Right. In thinking about doing this tonight with you, I was driving home thinking about my own mother and how they had no resources and they were sort of alone on an island parenting.

I mean, obviously, they got together with friends, but it's so different now that we have all these outlets to connect with people and be, can be a community and get help and be heard. So I think that's amazing from others today. Yeah. It's so true. There are so many resources, right? And that you, you don't have to project. Perfect. And you can be honest and people relate to that and it feels good for everybody. We'll see you. Thank you so much for being on today for having me.

This was so nice. So nice. And you were so just open and honest and real, we really appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Listening to the show today. I have learned that I need to continue to work on this balance of life, but I also learned that I'm not alone in it. So please join us on our Real Life Momz, Facebook group, where we would love to hear your stories and your insights on this topic or any other topic. And don't forget to follow Real Life Momz. So you don't miss an episode.